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Surrender... in this moment

I try to comfort a being that is too lost to be herself. I reach out to an energy whose nature is mute to ears closed to my calming words – whose eyes are blind to me – jumping – panning the room – whose body acquiesces and relents to my touch and my askings but the tension in her limbs and in her muscles underneath her skin is noted. I am trying to get her to forget and to let go and to bring life back to her senses – bring nature back to her being and… smell… snifff… use your nose and… BE.

In sporadic moments – seemingly in fast forward due to the frantic infusion of anxiety and nervousness and insecurity – she becomes a dog again. I meet her gaze and her body softens in an instant and her tail wags and her ears drop back – her features relax – her tension softens. But then as quickly as it arrived it is replaced by the unsure energy of this new dog. I will not give up and I never take it personally. After all – I am not the one who brought the stress – but instead – am the cure. I try not to even feel anything against the people who have lost the ability to care for this dog. If there is damage from birth – I will not blame the person who bred this dog. If she was rescued and there was damage done at that source – I will even let my mind let go of that frustration as well. I will be for this dog – in this moment – free and clear of any emotion at all but for my desire for her to be with me and my pack. I am simply willing to accept any little inkling that I get that I might be able to crack this facade. If it is only a second of softening – it is enough for now…for me.

After all, it has only been a week and the energy in the cosmos is unstable from the ones that she has loved before. It is never good to allow yourself to release your worry on another being. They will accept your hurt as their own and never even understand why they have to feel as bad as you do. These dogs are sentient beings beyond many humans that we infuse with everything that we have. When we have to leave them behind – we need to fill the hole that is left behind in ourselves - for the sake of the animal. They do not want to live trapped in that dark space – feeling nothing but lost and fretful. Let that be your burden to overcome and let them be free to live again without you…

I am here for this dog and I will be present to their maladies but not judgmental. I will be tolerant of their instabilities but never accept that this is their only option to be. I will always work for their balance – their comfort – to have their nature return and them to be DOG. I am but a lowly human who am lucky enough to be one of the people in this world who has never had to feel like I have failed a dog. No matter what humans shall place on my shoulders – I have no regret in being this – for this dog – in this moment and whatever else that they ask me to be for today and tomorrow and for forever.

Anything else… to be honest is incidental… and this new dog needs me to believe that they too can let it all… slide…

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